6 Signs You Are Being Selfish in a Relationship

6 Signs You Are Being Selfish in a Relationship
6 Signs You Are Being Selfish in a Relationship

There is a cycle of giving and receiving in all love relationships. This is balanced in a good, nurturing relationship, with the two persons alternating caring and being cared for.

When this flow is disrupted like when one of the partners becomes selfish in the relationship, the couple's lifespan is jeopardised. How do you spot a selfish person's characteristics? Let's look at some of the indicators of selfishness in a relationship and how to deal with it. In a relationship, how can you tell whether you're being selfish?

"Am I being selfish?" you might wonder. That's a promising start. It signifies you've detected a shift in the balance of forces.

We fall in love because it makes us happy and releases endorphins. True, love is selfish, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't be generous with your spouse in a romantic relationship. Fortunately, a selfish relationship may be turned around with a little self-awareness and intentional attempts to modify your selfish conduct.

In your relationship, there are 20 indicators you're being selfish.

Let's start with 20 symptoms that you're in a relationship with someone selfish. These indicators will assist you in determining where you are going wrong. Inadvertently, you might be selfish or insensitive.As a result, recognising these indicators can assist you in making positive changes.

1. Your thought process is inflexible

One of the most attractive aspects of being in a committed relationship is the variety of perspectives that your spouse brings to the table.One of the indicators of selfishness is when you find yourself continuously unable to consider their point of view. By reframing your mental process, you may avoid becoming selfish in a relationship. When your spouse holds a different viewpoint than you, you switch off.

This ties in with the first point. You are so persuaded that your point of view is the "correct" one that you refuse to listen to or even consider alternative viewpoints. So, if you've been doing this, all you have to do now is practise active listening and resist the urge to disregard your partner's point of view.

2. You never own up to your mistakes

A selfish personality has this unpleasant feature. A simple "I'm sorry; I was mistaken" can go a long way toward repairing a miscommunication. You are being selfish in a relationship if you are unable to express that.

There are various obstacles to apologising, but if the connection is more important to you than anything else, it isn't so difficult!

3: Lack of respect for your partner's uniqueness

If you find yourself seeking to transform your spouse into someone other than the person you fell in love with, this is an indication of selfishness in the relationship. If you find yourself doing this, ask yourself if you would like it if your spouse also tried to alter you. This should assist you in reversing your fortunes!

4. Your needs and desires take precedence over your partner's.

It's one thing to make sure you have everything you need to flourish and feel true to yourself. It's one thing to disregard your partner's wants and wishes.When you're in a relationship, being selfish means putting yourself first all of the time, even if you don't want to.

5: Listen what your spouse want to tell you about flaws

When your partner points out certain characteristics in you, you refuse to listen.

Your spouse is bored of being in a relationship with someone selfish.They may have approached you in an attempt to discuss their feelings honestly. You instantly turned them off.

6. You use deceptive tactics to achieve what you desire.

How self-centred are you? When your spouse expresses dissatisfaction with your selfish conduct, you threaten to abandon them or isolate them by refusing to communicate with them for days.In a relationship, gaslighting reinforces your selfish conduct. Any relationship will suffer as a result of this type of behaviour.

In a relationship, how can you avoid being selfish?

If you believe your acts have been selfish enough to harm your spouse and damage your relationship, it's time to make apologies.

A few pointers to assist you to quit being selfish and rekindle your relationship are provided below.

  • Learn to pay attention.

Active listening may be practised with a therapist or by researching skills on the internet.When your spouse speaks, the goal is to pay attention to them and truly hear and recognise what they're saying.

  • Take turns in the spotlight.

There is no competition in love. Allow your partner to take pride in their recent promotion or award.Tell them you're thrilled for them. Celebrate their accomplishments as you would your own!

  • Participate as a volunteer

While volunteering in your community is not directly tied to your relationship, the selflessness you demonstrate will pour over into your romantic life, making you a better, more giving person and your spouse a happier one.

  • Empathy should be practised all of the time.

Learn to cultivate empathy to transform from selfish to compassionate.If your spouse is narrating a challenging circumstance, put yourself in their shoes to see the problem from their perspective. Consider how they are feeling.


Changing several behaviours, some of which may be deeply established is required to overcome selfishness in relationships. Of course, there isn't a miraculous way to speed up the procedure. Nonetheless, it has been often stated that if you value your relationship with your spouse above all else, you must do all possible to keep it going if you genuinely love them. Relationships are difficult to maintain. You can't expect your spouse to give you all of their love, attention, and care if you don't reciprocate. If you're having trouble letting go of specific characteristics, go to a counsellor.